Relationships, Boundaries and Communication, Oh My
"I didn't set this boundary either to offend or please you. I did it to manage the priorities and goals I have set for my life." - Unknown
Well, these are three hot topics on any given day in everyone's life but then add in cancer and things get a little bumpy. We aren't relationship experts or communication specialists or even boundary masters. What we are though are survivors. Survivors develop skills that they may not have known they had. We become resourceful in protecting ourselves so we can fight. Some days that protection is a coat of armor and other days it may be more like a cocoon where we feel safe and loved. Those closest to us may not understand our new survivals tools. It's important that we communicate our boundaries and our needs. This applies to everyone whether they are going through cancer or not, but it is especially important during a cancer battle. Communication, managing expectations and setting boundaries are all tools Marc and I utilize on a daily basis. Please keep reading...I share an excerpt from our book, Shine Beyond Cancer, on how I set clear boundaries during my cancer battle.
An Excerpt from Shine Beyond Cancer - Lisa's Relationship Values
Boundaries - Lisa Dimond
Everyone deals with cancer differently. I knew I needed to have positivity and healthy relationships around me. So, I came up with a few boundaries for myself that I felt would help me and those around me get through cancer and the treatments.
The first was the No Negativity Policy. The second was the 24-Hour Rule. Each time there was a new test, new result, another procedure, I wanted 24 hours to allow myself space to wrap my head around it before others gave me their opinions. It was kind of a personal quarantine that allowed me to process not only the information but also the emotions. The third was allowing myself to ask for help. Asking for help from those who love and care about you allows them to contribute and allows you to receive their joy.
Cancer taught me how to receive. It was always hard for me to ask for anything from anyone. I was always the one who was giving, doing things for others. I was the strong one who didn’t need help. I learned through personal growth that by not allowing others to give to you, that you are actually taking away from them.
And the fourth, you know that song by Frank Sinatra, My Way? Yep, this was my journey, my lesson, my blessing and I was doing it MY way. I encourage you to do the same.
To read Lisa's entire Relationship Values you can click here to download the ebook of Shine Beyond Cancer.
Until the next post,
Lisa & Marc